I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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