dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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