She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
