i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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