im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
