Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
