Soap is not a condiment
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
