and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
