Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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