i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
