I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize