i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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