Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
