that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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