my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
two words...techno handjob
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
