that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I queefed so loud it echoed.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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