So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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