Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
