Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
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She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
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I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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