I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
