So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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