She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
