At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
