i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize