I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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