chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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