Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
