I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
