We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
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That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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