I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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