I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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