when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
