I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
