Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
