they need to just BURY HIM!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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