I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
