Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
