I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
