It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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