belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
