I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
