The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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