Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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