P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
