the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
