his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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