i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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