Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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