Christians are straight up FREAKS
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
