K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i think i have two assholes
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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