I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
