Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
