No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize