Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
