She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
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It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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