your room smells of hookers.
And success
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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