I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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