Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Randomize
