Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize