I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
