He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Randomize
