I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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