When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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