There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
