im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She told me I should be a condom model.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
